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Waterproof Bible [message #13184] Tue, 03 March 2020 22:16
william  is currently offline william
Messages: 1357
Registered: January 2006
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Okay, I couldn't contain my joy any longer... I've got the perfect bible for you all!

It's a completely waterproof bible. It's all plastic! No more worries about reading in the shower or tearing up over a stirring verse (you're not going to be able to tear it up easily, either!)

It's a bible for reading. No references, no notes, just the words from the greatest translators that ever lived--those KJV translators!

It is camouflaged for those times you want a little stealth when you're out there in the wilderness with others that may not be exactly enamored with you carrying that big-old family bible (you know, the one that has the gold-gilded edges and looks like a hammer?).

With this bible there are no distractions as you nimbly glide from one proof-text to another. You'll be able to stand there and take all that those abusive mud-slingers want to throw at you... knowing full well that you can hose the whole thing off as soon as your mission is finished!

Best of all, it floats. You'll be able to use it while baptizing that mob... never again will you be standing in the middle of the creek trying to remember that baptismal formula, you'll look like a real preacher when you reach down and fish out the real-preacher bible floating right beside you!

People will respect you now, and even if they don't, it matters not...remember, that tomatoes, rotten fruit, and even spoiled vegetables, wash right off, leaving you with a clean, white, pure KJV bible. No one will ever know that you were hip deep in mud when you stand up to preach on Sunday.

Hey, I didn't mention one of the best features... you know how bible shopping these days can set you back a pretty penny: This perfect bible is only $36.49!

You can get a black or brown imitation leather slip cover if you don't need the camo, or don't think you'll be doing any guerrilla warfare. You'll be out an extra $20 bucks or so, but hey, you might need a little respectability when rubbing elbows with those genuine-goat-skin-carrying comrades at the next Leadership Conference on Pentecostal Excesses.

By now you've decided that you've got to have one, so here is the link: (and NO! I'm not making a dime on this... I've read all about what my WaterProof KJV says about "filthy lucre"... just a minute, let me wipe that mustard stain off... Peter mentions the stuff once and Paul, four times! If only I had a waterproof keyboard I'd give you this report from my shower... a clean brother preaching from a clean bible while singing about that fount that makes me white as snow!)

Now you can be a real fisher of men with a real floating bible that's practically indestructible and you can do it while walking on the water without fear that you're going to ruin your bible... you may sink, but your bible won't!

Oh, the link:

https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Bible-Bardin-Marsee-Publis hing/dp/0984085734

Get one, you'll not be disappointed!

Blessings,
William

[Updated on: Thu, 05 March 2020 02:56]


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