| What are your Views on Dating? [message #1453] |
Tue, 11 March 2008 20:14  |
 Duncan
Messages: 95
Registered: February 2006 |
Member |
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Good afternoon, all.
I thought I would start up a topic that really hasn't been discussed on this board but was discouraged, if not out-right prohibited, by Faith Assembly.
I know that several passing comments have been made on this board about dating (including by me), and the comments have been labeled as un-Christlike. I'm not sure if my comment was misunderstood to be offensive, or if it was the fact that I spoke of dating that made it questionable.
As a young boy and a teenager at FA, I was not of an age that dating mattered. However, my sister was in high school and beyond at FA, and her inability to socialize with any males put her at a serious disadvantage. When she finally got married (to a guy from an ex-FA family), she ended up marrying a loser who ran of with some harlot from his work.
At any rate, I would be interested in hearing the thoughts of some of my younger brothers and sisters as to how this ban affected your future relationships. In addition, I would be interested in hearing from some of you older folks (yes, I mean you, Moulder and Hombre  ) and what your thoughts were at the time and what they are today.
Have a blessed day!
Duncan
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| Re: What are your Views on Dating? [message #1454 is a reply to message #1453] |
Tue, 11 March 2008 21:13  |
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william
Messages: 1463
Registered: January 2006 |
Senior Member
Administrator |
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I think that the objection to the concept of dating was/is based upon the fact that "playing the field" is based upon a hit or miss kind of thing. In other words, try this one and if it doesn't work, or doesn't seem right, then move on to another. The objection to dating stems from the fear that when one approaches arguably the most important decision of one’s life with this hit or miss methodology, it, at the very least, doesn't prepare one for the permanence of the marriage contract, and may actually foster an attitude that prevails within the marriage where one (or both) of the spouses decide that they just made a mistake in judgment and then continue to "play the field" until they finally hit upon the "perfect" mate.
Objections to the contrary are often based upon anecdotal examples (like your sister) which may not have anything to do with the fact that she didn't date. For every example you cite, I could easily give you ten cases where those who dated, ended up in the same type of situation. Want to have a go at it?
Anecdotal evidence can also be given in favor of those who weren't involved in the dating game. You may actually be one of those (I'm not probing for private information here!) that has established a strong relationship without the benefit of playing the game.
What I'm saying is that one should base their decision whether to date or not, on a stronger foundation than trying to find examples where it didn't work (or even when it did.)
Whether you "allow" dating or not, at the very least you should explain the reasons why it isn't a good idea for immature teens to be jumping in and out of relationships... at least until one is old enough to be able to understand the dangers, and mature enough to face consequences that can affect them for a lifetime.
Dating today is even more perilous than it was back then, what with the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases. Teen pregnancies are an ever present problem... which would then force one to bone up on the ethics of whether it would be better to be a single mom, or be married to the last one of a long string of suitors, who may or may not be "the one."
So, at the very least it would be wise to council a young person to wait until they are ready to face the ramifications of a bad decision, than to prematurely seek the experience and "joy," of a bunch of temporary commitments.
Blessings,
William
[Updated on: Tue, 11 March 2008 21:14]
I want to believe!
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