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Hi (warm smile) [message #11980]

Tue, 16 February 2016 15:18

steve
Messages: 3
Registered: February 2016

Junior Member

Sigh.
Got to be open and honest or there is no sense in me being here. It's just that many things i have read, (I know we aren't to compare ourselves with any one but Yeshua HaMaschiach), yet some of what has been posted ...well, I do feel kinda seem small. I have respect for Faith assembly via Joe Brennamen.

Grew up with great grand mother and never really knew parents until was 14. Was going to an Episcopalian church since a young child, the sermons were in Latin. Never knew latin. When grandmother died and ended, after being bounced around living with mother and her family and attended a countryside bible church. It was there that learned of the Gospel of Jesus (salvation). The church was very Calvinistic. The first chance at communion did not participate because not feel worthy and did not was to be punished by God for doing something that was to suppose to do. Family was up in arms, The pastor pulled me aside and explained about searching ourselves and asking for forgiveness before take of communion. Participated next time around. Something happened shortly afterwords. Days or so. After telling immediate family, again they were up in arms. The pastor pulled me aside and after explaining it to him was the most excitable smile he took me into a room and showed me in the bible about the gifts. The church as a whole did not believe that gifts were for anyone today. Ended up running away. It is sad place to be when one is where they are not wanted and to counted as a burden. God knows what he is doing, got me in a place where heard the gospel of salvation and then got me away before heart was tainted with Calvinism.

Got to know earthly father a bit before joining the military. At 19 earthly father died and was mad on God. I was a child. Went and got a tattoo to hurt God. Again, this an action of a child. Walked away and looked for God else where. Learned of different beliefs .. new age, different religions. Just could quite let go of my first love. Wasted 35 years of my looking for could not find, God elsewhere. One day, after a couple of months of conviction, I heard a voice in my mind saying this is your last chance. Knew exactly what that meant and was on my knees praying and asking for forgiveness.

Started to go to a christian college web site and participated in discussions in their forums. That led me to paltalk where met Joe Brennamen and listened to his sermons. Oh, just before this happened was struck dumb. Could not remember anything that was taught. Became as a child and had to start over in the scriptures. Stopped going to the christian college website and spend a lot of time on paltalk. The things are said on paltalk, so much is shameful but still did learn some truth. In Joe's room was even invited to their pray meetings, not something that Joe did lightly. Got tired of paltalk, too much vileness.

I'm guessing ya'll are filled with the Holy Spirit on a regular basis, it is something that rarely happens to me. Once, being filled with Holy Spirit God had me, in a small city on the other side of this county. go to every church and ask for a bible... not one would give me a bible. Being respectful in is this request, and I was, God judge this small city.
Moments after going to to last church, had a thought about wanting a cigarette and the spirit left me... words cannot accurately describe that feeling. It was like a tangible wind left me. Had no doubt that was alone. Nobody ever told me about this stuff. This type of thing has only happened a few times. Once while out and about prayed for a stronger presence of the Holy Spirit and then heard in my mind, "I don't work for you". Could have knocked me over with a feather. Not being the type to hear voices, this kind shocked me. Have been fighting again my own sinfulness for a while now. God has changed many thing about me, taken booze out of my life. When the battle against pot came about ,(remember, walked away for 35 years and there are/were many things that God needs to change about me), was about to yield and a voice outside of me that came from everywhere said, NO!!!. It was like a shout that reverberated from everywhere.
Haven't spoken in tongue and probably will not, Not all tongues are of God. I've seen some who speak in tongues and are as wicked as a person can be .. another speaks in tongues and takes psychotropic drugs. God heals people, if they get out of the way. On paltalk have many who speaks in tongues yet they justify their sinfulness and are full of themselves .. like they can do know wrong. No christian is to celebrate halloween yet have been in debates with many who do. Where is the discernment? Am not against tongues, at all. Just very cautious. Have seen way too many people puffed up, think every thing the do or say is led by the Holy Spirit. Personally think that one needs to walk uprightly to learn the difference between their own thoughts, whispers of the world (often demonic) and the voice of truth (Holy Spirit). Once while praying words flowed like water without any though, as soon as realized it ... it stopped. Never has finer words of praise to God ever came out of my mouth than at that time.

Sadly, today, don't even bother to find a church. The churches in this are shameful. One church that checked out, started off with soaking music ... had to struggle to stay put and not "literally" run out of the church before even hearing a sermon. Should have ran out, was a waste of time. Am not fan of people winging it. Preparing a sermon before hand and if the spirit leads putting it aside is one thing. Have heard too many preachers wing it. Unless led to, will not go to any churches in this area. Am angered and upset to what has happened to main stream Christianity today. Conservative Christianity, that's not the gospel of Jesus.. it is the gospel of money wrapped around the gospel of Jesus. Of course all christian are to be conservative, but this conservative christianity is not the gospel of Jesus. Have all the sermons of Joe Brennamen that have been posted online. Am currently listing to Zac Poonen from sermonindex. It's nice to hear sermons on walking the walk. It's all about God's mercy and grace there His Son Yeshua HaMaschiach and walking the walk.

This area of the world, New Port Richey, Florida is strange. One area of was known for clan members and now is now for wickens. Live in an apartment complex and are literally surround by people who hate God. Have to admit, it is good practice not hating haters. Occasionally fail, but not often or for very long. Do get the chance to talk with a few christians. One lady am trying to convince her that christian are not to be wrapped up in politics. How politicks (misspelled on purpose) are full of profession liars and all the actions of godly party are ungodly and that aggressiveness is not boldness in speaking the word.

Am hoping that my honest has not been offensive. Am here to learn and bounce some thing that does not go with mainstream christianity off ya'll. Are we not to reason with each other to come to a more perfect understanding?

Sigh, this post seems a little fragmented but if I clean it up it will never get posted.

Be well, and may God bless his own

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